


‘Cause You’re With Me Tonight

by Merlucaforever



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:09:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23530594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merlucaforever/pseuds/Merlucaforever
Summary: Andrew and Meredith’s conversation in the libraryFinal scene 16x20Song: Pray (Coco Bans)
Relationships: Meredith Grey/Andrew DeLuca
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	‘Cause You’re With Me Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I had this idea about what happened off-screen at the library. I hope you’ll like it. 
> 
> This is the first time that I didn’t write the story in French first, so this is not a translation. Please, be indulgent because English isn’t my native language.

**‘Cause You’re With Me Tonight**

**–** “Come on Mer, we’ve seen the CT and they’ve already ruled out this possibility, you know it better than me”, said Andrew.

 **–** “Damn it, Andrew! We’re going round and round in circles!”, exclaimed Meredith, anger and sadness showing through her voice.

Andrew sighed. He knew this feeling of helplessness when you watched a patient’s condition get worse without being able to do anything. And when that patient was Richard Webber, Andrew could only try to imagine what Meredith was feeling right now. They have both been working on Richard’s case for almost three hours. It was a real conundrum. Suzanne’s case seemed like child’s play compared to this one.

He was very surprised to see Meredith enter the library where he had retreated to do some research andtry to figure out what was happening to his mentor and friend. And he was even more surprised to see her interested in his research when Catherine Fox had already enlisted half of the attendings.

He thought she wanted to talk to him about what had happened the last time they saw each other, or about what she had told him that day on the stairs, but she was too worried for Richard. It was neither the place nor the time and Andrew preferred not to broach the subject either after hesitating a little.

She wanted to see what he had found out, so he handed her the notepad on which he had listed all the possible diagnoses making sure to highlight the ones he thought were most relevant.

At first, he felt troubled by her presence even though she was sitting at the other end of the table. Then, they quickly found themselves too absorbed in their discussions to think of the tension between them. They were too scared because of the diagnoses, some more terrifying than others, that they found.

But she got up and went to use the computer next to him to do some research. From time to time she swiveled her chair to face him and then she leaned forward so that they could browse through the documents in front of them together. He could feel the brush of her hand on his when he handed her a book or a pen, and he caught her gazing at him many times. Now, they were really very close. Too close for Andrew’s liking.

Whenever he heard her sigh and saw her sad and anxious look, he wanted to take her in his arms. He couldn’t help but wonder if he wasn’t also responsible. My God, this woman meant everything to him! And yet he had rejected her; he had told her that he didn’t love her. That was really proof that he hadn’t been himself lately! He would have given anything to take these words back, but he couldn’t. He had therefore avoided her and had not returned her calls. He had thought that it was better until he figured out what was happening to him. He had made good use of his suspension to try to do so. He had gone to its sessions and tried not to be angry at everyone who called him crazy. He had been feeling much better in the last few days and was ready to make peace with the world.

 **–** “Mer, we are not going around in circles... We have already ruled out a lot of things and with the latest results that Helm has just sent you we can even hope that we are dealing with something curable”, Andrew said to reassure her.

 **–** “Curable? Did you think of the sequelae! Oh my God, Richard!”, she sighed, burying her face in her hands.

Andrew stretched out his hand immediately to stroke her hair as he would have done to soothe Ellis’ tears.

 **–** “Hey! _Mia_ _cara_ , please, don’t cry. Richard is going to be fine. Don’t cry, please”.

But her sobbing didn’t stop. It was so overwhelming to see her so sad.

 **–** “How do you expect me not to cry? It looks like I’m drowning, like… I’m sinking in it. My best friend… my best friend left me. Maybe the only father I have… is dying… and you… and you...”.

 **–** “And me, I’m here Mer. I have no intention of leaving. I… I love you Meredith”.

Meredith suddenly looked up at him. Andrew realized that he must have had that same look of disbelief when she told him that she loved him the other day. And even now, he could hardly believe it. His heart had been pounding so fast that he was surprised that he hadn’t ended up in cardio.

 **–** “You... you love me?”, asked Meredith smiling through her tears.

 **–** “Mer, I went to jail for you. I think that can mean one of two things: either I’m as crazy as everyone seems to think or I’m just crazy in love with you”.

This time, Meredith frankly laughed, and Andrew giggled too.

 **–** “I must admit that I like the idea that we’re both crazy in love with each other”, she said.

 **–** “Oh yes, I am!”.

They smiled at each other. Andrew was so happy to see her eyes shine again. He leaned over to kiss her. He saw her close her eyes as he pressed his lips gently against hers. Only their lips touched. And yet it was as if they were both naked, entwined in each other’s arm, forgetting the entire world. They felt that kiss throughout their whole bodies. 

After what seemed like an eternity, Meredith let out a moan and reluctantly pulled away from him.

 **–** “Andrew”, she said, looking him in the eye.

He smiled at her and replied:

 **–** “I feel that we are finally going to have this conversation together”.

He took her hand before continuing:

 **–** “I’m sorry I told you that I didn’t love you. But I was hurt deep down inside. I was mad at everyone and especially at you for not having thought for a second that I could have been right about that girl. When Bailey called me to tell me that the woman matched a description that the National Human Trafficking Hotline had already received and that she was actively wanted, it helped me a lot. I wish with all my heart that I am wrong and that this teenage girl is happy somewhere with her aunt but if I am not wrong, I hope that it would help to set her free”.

She covered his hand with hers and began to talk in turn:

 **–** “I wanted to tell you so, but you didn’t answer my calls. I knew you’d answer the Chief of surgery, so I asked Bailey to call you. I feel guilty for not having supported you because deep down, I knew you were right. You’re so sensitive Andrew! You have felt how much she was suffering and when you cried out my name, begging me to trust you, I felt your pain too and that tore my heart out. But I thought my judgment was clouded because it was you… because I love you and because I wanted you to be right so badly. Besides, it all happened so fast, everything seemed so unreal. All I could see was you and your tears that I wanted to wipe away. I’m sorry Andrew, I let you down. I promise I will always be on your side from now on. That doesn’t mean that I’ll always agree with you. But in this case, I’ll tell you why I disagree with you and it won’t be based on biases or prejudices. I’m not going to tell myself that you think I’m crazy if you don’t share my point of view on a topic and I don’t want it to be the first thing you think of when I’m the one who doesn’t share your point of view.

 **–** “Okay. I promise you I won’t. Thank you, Mer, for telling me all that”.

Meredith nodded and Andrew said:

 **–** “And, since it’s apology time, I would like to apologize for yelling at you in the hallways of the hospital. You would never know how much I blame myself for that”.

 **–** “But I’m not mad at you. You’d been working for days without sleeping and you were so worried about Suzanne. You seemed so exhausted and I was worried but I’m not proud of myself for taking over the case or for comparing you to your father. I’m sorry. As a doctor, I should have known that I was getting ahead of myself in a field other than mine. Especially since I have already been compared to my mother once and believe me, I don’t think you were even half as angry as I was at the time”.

 **–** “If you want to know everything, even my therapist doesn’t want to venture to say so either”.

Indeed, his therapist thought that his very high sensitivity and his family history were sufficient indicators to monitor him but not enough to diagnose any mental illness. Anyway, she told him that if it turned out that he had bipolar disorder, it would be easily manageable because what made this disease more difficult to treat was the fact that it took an average of ten years between the first episode and the diagnosis in the vast majority of cases. She thought that the strain of overwork coupled with the lack of respect he felt from everyone, whether in his work or in his relationship could be blamed for what everyone around him called manic episodes. She decided not to put him on medication as long as he came regularly to his sessions which could help him better manage the feelings which seemed to overwhelm him.

Andrew was thinking about it, but he didn’t think it was the right time to tell Meredith about his sessions.

 **–** “I’ll tell you about it another time, when I feel ready. For now, you should go home, it’s getting late. Richard is not dying, and you’ll help him better by getting some rest”.

 **–** “You could be of great help to him too Andrew. I’ll ask Bailey to let you join the team”.

 **–** “What?”, exclaimed Andrew. “You really want Bailey to fire me for good this time, don’t you?”.

Meredith look at him with admiration.

 **–** “Andrew, you impressed me with your methodical and meticulous approach and the relevance of your hypotheses as if you looked at everything with different eyes than other doctors. You feel things very deeply and it’s a real asset in understanding what’s wrong with your patients. Just look at how you took the time to talk to Richard earlier and discovered things that we have missed. And, you’re here with me tonight despite everything. I want you in the team Andrew”.

 **–** “Wow, Mer… Hmm… thank you, Mer. What you think about me means a lot to me! You know, Dr. Riley said pretty much the same thing to me, but I thought it was because she wanted to convince me that I’d make a good diagnostician. She also feels things deeply because of her deafness. I’ve already contacted her for Richard’s case, and she assured me of her help, even if it would be at a distance”.

 **–** “Oh! I see. So, you’ve kept in touch with her?”.

Andrew had immediately noticed the change in Meredith’s tone and demeanor, even though she did try not to sound jealous when she asked the question. He smiled and said:

 **–** “Hmm! Jealous?”.

 **–** “No... of course not”, she stammered.

Andrew’s smile turned into a little laugh. He took her hand and helped her get up, but he remained seated. She was standing in front of him and he wrapped his arms around her waist. He looked up at her and said to tease her:

 **–** “You are so beautiful when you’re being jealous!”.

 **–** “I’m not...”, she began to say before stopping sharply when she saw Andrew tilt his head to one side, as if to dare her to finish her sentence. And of course, she didn’t dare and replied, laughing:

 **–** “Okay, I admit that I might be a little bit jealous”.

She bent down to put a quick kiss on his lips. Andrew pulled her closer to him so he can rest his face against her stomach. She caressed his hair absentmindedly as they both enjoyed this moment of pure tenderness. Then she rested her face on the top of his head and said:

 **–** “You’ve been suspended, you could have found the time to get yourself a haircut!”

 **–** “I know, my hair is awfully long...”.

 **-** “No. I’m teasing you. It’s perfect like that. I love it”.

She put a gentle kiss on his hair and added:

 **–** “I love you. I love you Andrew”.

Andrew's heart overflowed with happiness. He pressed her against him for a moment before standing up to look at her intensely. And then he said:

 **–** “I love you too”.

He slid one hand behind her neck and kissed her, this time in an even more sensual and passionate way. Meredith kiss him back with the same passion. Their hands were already all over their bodies. They felt the urge to get rid of their clothes. Andrew was removing Meredith jacket when two very noisy first-year interns burst into the library. Meredith and Andrew reluctantly broke apart. The interns had using the second door which was at the opposite side of the room and couldn’t see them. From their conversation, they understood that the interns were in the middle of their watch but since it was a very quiet night, they had come to the library to prep for a competition.

They started to smile because it reminded them of the time when Richard had caught them. They didn’t need words to know they were thinking of the same thing, and they both were very moved. They were gathering their things to leave, and Meredith said to him:

 **–** “Come home with me”.

Andrew whispered:

 **–** “Didn’t you have to rest to be ready for tomorrow?”

 **–** “Spending the night thinking about what almost happen in this library wouldn’t help neither”.

Andrew smiled and hold her hand:

 **–** “OK, let’s go home and finish what we’ve started”.

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been doing some research on bipolar disorder. I hope you like my theory about Andrew. I’m sure he’ll find the right diagnosis to save Richard. 
> 
> I hope this new fic will help you wait for the last chapter of “Because I love you” since I’m running out of ideas right now. You can also check out my other stories if you’re up to. 
> 
> I really like reading your comments, so feel free to let me know what you think. Kudos are also very much appreciated.


End file.
